Mayonnaise, Manure, and Intimidation

Mayonnaise is good stuff. Whether it’s the jarred stuff available at the grocery store or homemade for some special occasion, it’s all good. At our house we use Duke’s brand: full fat and unflavored with anything except its original ingredients. There are various brands and iterations on the store shelves, but Duke’s is ours.

The idea of “flavored” or low-fat or — worst of all — no-fat mayonnaise is ridiculous to me. Why bother? Use yellow mustard, butter, margarine, or something that has the lack-of-fat and taste that you really want.

Another thing about Duke’s mayonnaise is that it isn’t sweet. But sweet or not is a personal preference.

Mayonnaise is used to make what’s called chicken salad, using leftover already cooked chicken. The ingredients are some variation on chopped cooked chicken, mayo, pickle relish, pepper, salt. Simple and for meat-eaters a tasty way to use leftovers.

Poultry poo. Fowl feces. Chicken shit.

Good for your garden and a natural by-product of keeping chickens whether for eggs, meat, or as pets.

Not good for consumption. No matter how much mayonnaise and pickle relish along with seasoning you use it is impossible to make chicken salad from chicken shit.

Where I used to work, the shorthand for this was ‘not enough mayonnaise.’

This past November in an off-year election, the legislature in Virginia went from Republican majority to Democratic majority in both the upper (Senate) and lower (House of Delegates) chambers. This was a change from two decades of Republican majority.

Most pundits who pay attention to Virginia politics saw that election as a mandate favoring improved health care, less restriction on reproductive rights, and more restrictions on the states wide-open-to-anyone lack of gun regulations. Virginia has had more than one mass shooting in recent years and is known to be where East Coast gangs obtain guns for their activities in more restrictive locales.

The legislature has returned to the capital and the business of governance last week. As I’m writing this, while most offices are closed for the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, various groups came together to protest any potential gun regulations making their way through the legislature. Note that these are regulations not confiscations. No plans in the works to take people’s firearms. No move to ban guns.

The protesting groups range from simple gun enthusiasts and hunters to militia groups and those that are often labeled “white supremist” or “white nationalist.” The militia crowd and the nationalists like to dress up. They show up with their assault-appearing weapons and wearing clothing that has the appearance of military uniforms. Web-gear and camouflage are much in evidence.

Read more about the protest in these articles from the BBC or our local paper.

As citizens of a free democracy these folk have every right to make their feeling known to the people who debate, pass, and enact laws.

No one has a right to imply threats. There is no right to attempt to intimidate.

Flags, uniforms, MAGA caps, and rhetoric does not turn a mob into patriots. Openly carrying weapons to and around the seat of government does not make a mob into heroes.

The governor declared a state of emergency around the capitol in order to have adequate security against anyone who decided that he/she personally was above the law and therefore did not need to abide by ‘peaceable assembly.’

Today—when I’m writing, not when you’re reading—is January 20, 2020. The U.S. is recognizing and honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. today. It was years after the assassination of Dr. King before a day observing his contribution to human rights and civil rights became a nationwide holiday. It is fitting that on a day honoring the American icon of passive resistance, I’m writing this post.

Wearing the garb, carrying the gear, intimidation by displaying weapons are neither heroic nor patriotic.

When there is too much chicken shit, there is never enough mayonnaise.

Come back next week and we’ll return to foolishness.